Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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