For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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