Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
