Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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