so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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