weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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