You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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