why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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