I wanna bring you to show and tell
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
