im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
