i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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