Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
