the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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