You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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