sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
