Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
