I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
