I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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