I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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