I want to have your abortion
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
