I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
