I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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