As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
