I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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