first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
