i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
