you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
