Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
