I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
