I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
