if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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