fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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