All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
