Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
