WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
