you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
