did you get engaged???
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
