we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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