Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
