We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
