If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
