I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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