You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
