Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
