i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As shirtless as possible
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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