Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
