so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
