After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
