I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
