Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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